Fear
I have noticed that in me, the core human fears of failure, rejection, and inadequacy, show up in cunning, baffling, and powerful ways. As I begin my UX design job hunt, I have come up against all my biggest insecurities. My mind wants me to take me in every single possible direction, except for sitting down, doing the work, and moving forward with the process. I’m afraid my work isn’t good enough. I’m afraid my skill set isn’t vast enough. I’m afraid that there’s not enough jobs out there, or maybe there is, but there isn’t one for me. Watching these words appear on this screen takes some of the power out of them.
Two years ago, before I began exploring design as a career, myself and 8 others met once a week for 3 hours over a 12 week span. As a group, we worked through Julia Cameron’s book, The Artists Way. A few results of this process include: A soap business by my friend Mike, a career shift within interior design for Chris, and a local music event by me.
I am currently reading The Practice by Seth Godin. At some point in the last year, whether it be Covid-19 related, falling in and out love related, or some other form of life’s uncertain trajectory, I fell out of the habit of creating. With that being said, I did complete a UX design bootcamp. As of right now, I am recommitting to the practice. During my 12 weeks of The Artists Way and for the following year, I religious completed one of the tasks suggested as of the utmost importance in that book, Morning Pages. This exercise is simple, write 3 pages of anything every morning. Seth Godin, reiterates the importance of an exercise like this: just do the work. A writer writes, a painter paints, a designer designs.
I will keep moving forward. I am acknowledging here that left to my own devices, my mind will tell, and not only tell me, but beg me to stop and go in some other more safe comfortable direction. I no longer want to choose that route. Whether it be an article here, a job application, a design posted to dribble, or a new DJ mix, I am re-committing to shipping of creative work.
I hope this was helpful to anyone that gets the chance to read it. I never would’ve thought I’d be in the position to become gainfully employed through creative work. That’s a win.